Wednesday, July 3, 2013

DAY 49

DAY 49
(June 11)
No more episodes

We arrived in Copenhagen.  I said my final good byes to the remaining cast members, this time with a definite aire of finality.  It was another emotional experience.   They went off to explore Denmark, while I was taken to the airport to fly back to Oslo.  I drew Othala this morning.  Ancestral property...interesting.

1350 - 1:50 pm.  Now I am sitting on the plane that will fly me back to Oslo with the crew, I'm glad I get to hang out with them a little more.  Tonight I will stay at an airport hotel under the supervision of Mama Christine.  She will give me all the information I need and early tomorrow morning I will fly back to America.

Brita told me that this evening Christine will let me call home so I can let everyone know I am coming.  It's going to be very weird, calling home,  not sure why, it just seems like it will be very weird.  I don't want to go home...not yet.  Of course I miss my family and my animals and my home...but, I'm just not quite ready to leave.  Now I will miss my new friends; the wonderful crew people, the other cast members. 

It's a strange thing I'm feeling now; both happy and sad at the same time.   In complete awe and thrilled by the opportunity I had to take part in this experience...but at the same time, my heart is breaking, and I feel like crying.

Actually, the notion of going home seems almost more surreal than coming to Norway did.  My home, my family is in America...but I have family here too, and I did not get the opportunity to meet and know them.  At least they will know I exists now, that is something. home is in America...but my spirit, my soul wants to stay in Norway.  I feel differently here than anywhere else on earth; it's as though the cells of my body recognize that I am back where I belong and they all relax.  Or maybe, it is an ancestral memory activated deep in my subconscious?  I don't know...but I know I want to stay.

It will be difficult conveying to everyone at home what I have been through, and the magnitude of this experience.  I know they will have a lot of questions, and my answers will not seem adequate, at least not to me, because this experience is impossible to put into words.  It defies language.  I don't yet know how I will be, how I will act. 

I'm going home...but that notion just isn't computing right in my brain...because, I am home already.  How can I be going home, if I am home?  Even as I write this, I wonder if anyone except others who have been on the show can understand the feelings I am trying to speak of.

It is all very strange, and wonderful, and sad, and happy, and thrilling, and spiritual, and profoundly moving.  I'm sure I will be ok.  I will get used to being home again.  I'll stop writing now, and relish this time, breathing Norwegian air, on my last night in Norway.
(view out the hotel window, my last night in Norway)

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