DAY 18

(May11)
Episode 3

I will leave at 10:45 this morning to go somewhere where there is relevant information about my family, I am very excited.  I drew jera this morning, a perfect rune; jera means year, or harvest, the cycles of life.  Today is the harvest of what I have sown, today is the manifestation of a cycle, a returning.  Today is the epitome of jera.

In explaining my desire to return to where my family is from I have often used the analogy of the salmon.  The salmon is born and lives for a time in the river where it was spawned, then it goes out to the big wide sea where it will live for several years.  Ultimately though, one day the salmon is compelled by some internal clock to return, to return to the exact same stream where it was born, to spawn itself and die, thereby completing the cycle.  Today I am the salmon.  I don’t know what awaits me…but I am ready.

We had about an hour to drive, I was in the front passenger seat and Odd, the camera man was driving.  In the back seat were Eli the director, Stian the sound guy, and of course Henriette.  I am very fond of Odd and Stian, they are both great guys.  Eli was the director at my home town shoot so I was familiar with her, and I had got to know Henriette pretty well, I was very happy with the crew I had on this very important day.

As we drove further the landscape began to change subtly; it became more rural, there were more farms, more rock fences, more livestock, and the backdrop for it all was gently rolling emerald green pastures, it was very beautiful.

As we were driving along we passed a sign, I wasn’t looking directly at it, but enough for my peripheral vision to catch a familiar word; a word I had seen a million times before.  I wasn’t certain, but I was pretty sure it was my last name on that sign.  I shouted, “Hey!  What did that sign say?”, No one said anything, they all just sort of giggled.  Just a little further down the road there was another sign, a directional sign, it said “1 HERIGSTAD” and pointed to the right.  When I saw it my heart skipped a beat, my breath halted, I just starred at it in disbelief.  You see for my whole life my last name has been unusual where I come from, it is very uncommon, most of my teachers had a hard time pronouncing it…and there it was on a road sign; it was an amazing thing for me.

Up ahead there were a series of building; houses and barns on the left and right, we parked on the left.  Odd and Eli got out and walked around while we waited in the car.  Eventually they came back, I got out and we filmed the scene where Henriette introduces me to the area and gives me the envelope.  While that was happening an old Norwegian guy walks up and starts raising hell with the crew because we parked on his property without his permission.  They all exchanged words and eventually that situation was cleared up.  I took a moment and asked the Gods and ancestors to accompany me on what I was about to experience, and two ravens appeared, I was happy to see them.

Turns out, my family farm was on the right, beautiful white buildings with shiny black tile roofs and trim, and a huge barn…my heart started beating faster; this was my kind of place and I was so anxious to learn more.

I was told that this was my ancestral family farm.  I couldn’t believe it was still there, and in such good shape!  The place was called Herigstad Gård, which means Herigstad farm.  The people who lived there were gone and they told me I was free to explore the property.

As I approached the driveway I saw two mailboxes.  I walked closer and read the names; their name was Berge; the same family name as the 8 siblings who I have a picture of, my great grandmother Lisa Gurine’s people.  Could it be that I am still related to the people who actually live here? As I pondered that question it began to really sink in that it was possible.  It seemed too great a thing to experience, or even hope for.  I questioned Eli about it and she confirmed that the people who lived there were in fact my relatives.  At that moment the whole experience took on an even deeper, greater meaning for me.  I really had come home, back to the stream of my origin.  Wow!

I started exploring the whole place then; I looked in a basement window and saw many deer skulls, boar tusks, and a stuffed pheasant.  I was struck by the fact that I could have easily been looking into the room of my own house, because I also have a fascination with bones and taxidermy.  There was also a building that seemed to have a collection of old cars, then another place where there was some construction equipment, there was fire wood being chopped…man, this was like taking a tour of a place I was living at, and it all seemed so familiar.

Brenda had given me some collection baggies, I had one with me and decided to gather some dirt.  I went to the middle of a large plowed field.  I figured it must have always been a field, a field where my ancestors worked, sweat, and bled.  It was dirt they had used to sustain their families.  I took the dirt from there.

After I collected the dirt I looked down and saw a familiar thing; a robin egg shell.  We have lots of robins at home, but I couldn’t remember seeing a robin since being in Norway, yet, there on the ground was a robin egg shell.  It might sound silly, but it made me feel as though the universe was welcoming me home with a familiar object.

After I had checked out the house and barn they took me deeper into the property.  There we found a glorious outdoor recreation area affectionately called “Høne Hauen” or “Hens Hill”.  It was the coolest ever wooden structure, newly built, with a sod roof.  Great chunks of granite were used for the supports as well as the benches and table.  There were fire pits, and a wood fire hot tub, the name of the place was carved in a stone along with a picture of four eggs which sat behind three little hens. It was so, so, awesome!  I took tons of pictures because I plan to duplicate this structure when I go home. 

I sat down for a minute to take it all in and just sort of gather myself.  It occurred to me then just how much I felt completely at home and at peace on this land.  It felt as though I had always been there, even the horizon looked familiar to me as though I had gazed at it hundreds of times before.  Then I felt a little sad, because I knew I would have to leave this place…when I felt instead that I should just be going up to the house for dinner.  It was a remarkable sensation that I have never experienced before in life. Honestly, I believe I had been there before, in another life.  So strong were my feelings there that I cannot be convinced otherwise.

Finally I was allowed to open the envelope and read the letter.  It explained the hard times the people had around the turn of the century and why they had left.  My great, great grandfather Reier Rasmussen Herigstad and his wife Ingeborg had 13 children, only 8 of whom survived to adulthood, one of those had been my Great Grandfather Ingebret Reierson Herigstad, who came to America when he was 18.  It was all a bit overwhelming.  There were some pictures, a few I had seen before, but there was a picture of Reier Rasmussen Herigstad’s mother; my great, great, great grandmother.  Wow, what a haunting picture; what deep soulful eyes.  Her hands were gnarled and scarred from years of hard work, but her eyes were loving and kind, I looked at it for a long time.  She had lived where I was sitting, on this same land her entire life, her name was Berte. 

 

Oh my gosh…I had really made it back.  I have completed the circuit, I had come home, I have found my stream.  Words cannot express how it felt.

There were so many things at this property that reminded me of me; the farming lifestyle, the skulls, the love of outdoor recreation and family, the fact that two families live here (at home we have four families on one property), they seemed like capable, competent people who knew how to build things.  I loved it there and I did not want to leave, but, I had to.  I will be back one day though. 

It was also nice for me to know that the families who lived there knew I was there that day.  That means they knew of me, maybe even knew my name.  In knowing of me they have to know that I have family too who are also related to them.  Just like that, in the blink of an eye, two families who knew nothing of each other suddenly increased with the knowledge that they are really all part of one family.  It was a beautiful day that will be with me forever, this one day has made the entire journey worthwhile.